


One Criterion in Particular

by tacosandflowers



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Pregnancy, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-09-27 10:33:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10011767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tacosandflowers/pseuds/tacosandflowers
Summary: Clarke's list gets put to use, and after a few years things get real. Canon-divergent after 4x03.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blakesdoitbetter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakesdoitbetter/gifts), [flonkertons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flonkertons/gifts), [Quentanilien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quentanilien/gifts).



> So this is just a crack thing that popped into my head after reading a Twitter exchange between blakesdoitbetter, flonkertons, and Quentanilien. It’s not exactly what they were discussing, but it’s based on what might have happened if Clarke’s list (and the criteria behind some of the choices) had to be put to use. I didn’t think through much beyond sealing them in the Ark and having them get it on, so this isn't a serious attempt at canon by any means. It's also not very well edited. I’ll probably write another chapter or two. Enjoy!

They’d been stuck inside the ark for two and a half years, waiting out the second nuclear apocalypse, when Abby and Kane decided it was time to implement the procreation plan.  
  
“You selected the people on this list based on particular criteria, Clarke,” Abby said across the council table when her daughter tried to fight it. “With every day that passes, it becomes more critical that we start thinking about our long-term plans. And that means we start utilizing one criterion in particular.”

She was talking about babies. Reproduction. People who could bear children, was how Clarke had justified it when everyone came after her for what she already hated herself for doing. And as angry as she was, Clarke knew Abby wasn’t wrong. She just hadn’t expected that it would actually come to this. She thought they would have solved the problem by now.

The problem, of course, wasn’t just one thing that could be solved. It was any number of factors making the outside world uninhabitable for now. They’d sealed the one hundred selected people inside the Ark two and a half years ago after doing everything they could to get the rest of the population in as good of a position as possible to survive, utilizing every bunker and ship remnant they could find. But they were spread far and wide and communication had been cut off long ago, so for all intents and purposes they were isolated in the Ark, and had to plan for a self-contained future.  
  
Everyone on the council had nodded in solemn agreement at Abby’s words, because nobody was happy about admitting defeat, in a way, by implementing a repopulation protocol. But things looked grim out there, and here they were.  
  
“I hate this,” Clarke said to Bellamy that night, letting her head fall down against the desk in what had become their office. “Having to be the bad guy again.”  
  
“You’re not the bad guy, Clarke,” he replied, lying back on the couch. “Making the list like that was a good call.”  
  
“I know, but I still feel like it’s overstepping somehow, telling people they have to start having kids.”  
  
“It has to be done,” he said. “We could be stuck in here for decades, so we have to plan for the future.”

Clarke sighed. “Well, increasing the birth rate involves more logistics than I would have thought. We have to go over who’s in the potential childbearing population, get all the medical stuff figured out. And how are we supposed to tell people about this? It’s such a touchy subject.”

“Social norms don’t work the same when you’re welded inside a tin can like this,” Bellamy remarked. “And you’ve had to break worse news.”  
  
Clarke grumbled something incomprehensible and went back to writing in her notebook. Bellamy dozed on the couch until eventually she started to pack up and he asked,  
  
“Are you counting yourself as part of the population in question?”  
  
Clarke paused before turning to him. “The childbearing population, you mean?” she asked.  
  
“Yeah,” he said, suddenly needing to know the answer. “I know you didn’t put yourself on the list but… you fit the criteria, right?”  
  
He watched the column of her throat as she swallowed. “Yes,” she replied.  
  
He wasn’t sure what to feel. “So what does that mean for you?” he asked.  
  
She was quiet for a moment before saying, “I think it means if we ask everyone else to do it, I have to figure something out too.”  
  
It took a few days before Abby and Kane decided on arrangements and how make the announcement to everyone. They needed to ensure the proper medical care was ready and available, and that the Ark was ready to support any additions to the population. Luckily, Raven’s initial estimate of the Ark’s ability to hold one hundred people was flexible enough to absorb a gradual population increase in the form of babies and children.  
  
Abby was the one to make the announcement, but Bellamy watched Clarke’s face as the words came out of her mother’s mouth, saw the tension in her jaw. The plan was simple. People who were able would start trying to get pregnant, with partners they already had or otherwise. The medical team was available to assist people with fertility treatments who weren’t able to conceive the old-fashioned way. After a few months they would see where things were, and hopefully within the next year they would be welcoming some new additions to the Ark.  
  
The news went over more smoothly than Bellamy expected. It turned out that people had been expecting an announcement of this nature at some point, and from what he heard, several couples were excited to start trying. He figured it wasn’t really his problem, other than providing external support to the growing population, until that night when he found Clarke frowning over the desk.  
  
“What’s wrong?” he asked.  
  
She didn’t answer at first, and then said, “I have to try too, don’t I?”  
  
“Try what?” he replied, but he knew what she was asking.  
  
“To have a baby. It’s not fair of me to ask everyone else to do it and not do it myself.”  
  
“Are you okay with that?” he said quietly.  
  
“I think I have to be,” she said. “I will be. I just don’t know where to start, you know?”  
  
He fought down the heat threatening to flood his cheeks, the way he always did when Clarke and sex ended up in the same thought sequence. “I mean…”  
  
She let out a laugh, which soothed him somewhat. “Okay I know that, but you know what I mean. It’s not like I have a partner or some obvious prospect to turn to. But it would feel so weird to automatically go to my mom and ask for fertility treatments.”  
  
Bellamy had no idea how to respond, so he just gave her the space to talk, a tactic he’d always found useful.  
  
“I guess it’s goodbye to romance when it comes to this,” she scoffed. “Not that the Ark is a hotbed for romance, what with our limited population and confined space. But I’ve already heard from a few people that they’re considering different options for getting pregnant. Single people like me have to either find someone to procreate with or start using science to help. Which, I have no problem with science, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to just… you know… figure something else out before it comes to that.”  
  
“You mean find someone to have sex with?” he asked.  
  
“What else am I supposed to do?” she replied defensively. “I’m not a virgin. I’m not holding out for some love story. The future of our people is on the line and I can’t rightfully ask other people to do something I wouldn’t do myself.”  
  
“You don’t have to convince me,” he said, calming her down. “So what’s your plan?”  
  
She sighed and said, “I started making a list.”  
  
“Really,” he said, ignoring the turn of his stomach.  
  
“At least I’m not the only one doing this right now. Did you ever read about the dating services people used to use, before the bombs went off the first time? You could find someone to have sex with on the internet, nobody had any expectations, it was all about attraction and mutual intention for enjoyment. Wouldn’t that be useful right now,” she remarked wryly, “to help us sort through one another.”  
  
“I guess,” he grumbled, distracted as he tried and failed to imagine Clarke having sex with any of the men on the Ark without his head exploding.  
  
She went back to working for a while and he sat on the couch, attempting to read a book while his mind raced in faster and faster circles until he couldn’t contain himself any longer.  
  
“What if,” he began, and then stopped to clear his throat. “What if, instead of just finding… someone… What if you tried with me?”  
  
She was quiet at first, her shoulders still, and then she turned slowly to look at him. “Really?” she asked.  
  
“Yeah,” he said. “Unless you have someone on your list that you really want to do this with.”  
  
She let out a small laugh. “You didn’t ask if you were on the list.”  
  
“Am I?” he asked, he heart suddenly pounding.  
  
Clarke’s smile was slightly sheepish. “Well, if you think about it in practical terms, you’re young, healthy, and already have experience taking care of a kid. It would be stupid not to put you on it.”  
  
“So I’m on it,” he said.  
  
“Of course you are. And if you’re willing to do it, then, well, I think we should both take a few days and think about what it really means. Because it’s a huge decision.”  
  
He already knew what his decision was, but he understood where she was coming from.  
  
“Sure,” he replied. “Whatever you need.”  
  
Bellamy put it out of his mind as much as he could after that, knowing it would turn into a huge distraction if he wasn’t careful. He was reading a book and not thinking about potential sex with Clarke when she found him in his room late one night, a serious look on her face.  
  
“What happened?” he asked, accustomed to receiving bad news from Clarke when she looked like that.  
  
“Nothing,” she replied. “It’s just, it’s been a few days and I’ve thought about what we talked about, and I think it’s a good idea. The best option, in this scenario.”  
  
“Okay,” he said hesitantly.  
  
“If you’re still okay with it,” she continued.  
  
“Yeah, I’m okay with it,” he replied. “So… what do we do now?”  
  
“Well, I think before we do anything, we should agree on something.”  
  
“What’s that?”  
  
She sat down on the end of his bed. “No matter what happens, you and I have to be able to work together, for the good of everyone in the Ark. So we can’t let anything related to this situation get in the way of that. No awkwardness, no expectations beyond procreation. This is just another thing we have to do to try and help save the world. Okay?”  
  
“Okay,” he replied.  
  
“Okay,” she said, her cheeks coloring. “So I guess now all we have to do is start trying.” And then pulled her shirt over her head.  
  
“Like, right now?” he asked, his gaze falling to her bra.  
  
“Unless you want to wait until another time,” she said, shaking out her hair.  
  
He shook his head and sat up to pull off his own shirt. “Now works.  
  
Clarke smiled and he felt his blood rush downward. “Okay then,” she said, and stood up to take off her pants.  
  
They weren’t sure where to start at first. Had this been a romantic situation, he would have kissed her, but they’d just clearly agreed that it wasn’t like that. So instead he reached for her waist and pulled her closer, running his fingers over her smooth skin.  
  
Clarke shivered against his grip and crawled back onto the bed and climbed astride him where he sat against the wall. He ran his hands up and down her torso, and when their hips came together he knew this was going to work just fine.  
  
“I guess you’re ready,” she said softly as she moved against him, and then she lifted up again to pull down her underwear.  
  
“Are you?” he asked, eyes straying south as she reached down to touch herself.  
  
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she replied, and then lifted up again. “Take your pants off.”  
  
He did what she asked and Clarke moved over him again wearing nothing but her bra. Her hand found him and grasped lightly, and she met his gaze with hers.  
  
“Okay?” she asked.  
  
He couldn’t find his voice when she was touching him like that, so he simply nodded, and let his eyes fall shut as she positioned herself and slid down onto him. She went slowly until they fit together, and then she let out a breath, and the stillness of that moment nearly overwhelmed him.  
  
He opened his eyes to find her with her head tilted back slightly, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. She felt amazing, like he’d known she would, and yet he still couldn’t quite believe this was happening. But it was.  
  
They began to move together, tentatively at first, and then with more confidence as they found a rhythm that worked. He let his hands run up and over her back and then gripped her hips to get a better angle. They were both so intent on their goal that there wasn’t much time or room for anything beyond this, until Clarke began touching herself. He felt her tighten and move more firmly against him until she let out a soft cry and came in a wave, which was enough to trigger his own release.  
  
“That didn’t take long,” she said wryly after they’d slowed to a stop.  
  
Bellamy couldn’t help but laugh at her statement, at the absurdity of it all, really. “It’s been a while,” he said.  
  
“Same here,” she replied as she rolled off of him and onto her back. “Can you pass me that blanket? I should probably just hang out here for a little while.”  
  
“Sure,” he said, pulling some covers up over her, and they both sank back to catch their breath.  
  
“So, going forward, I guess we just keep doing this and see what happens,” she said after a few minutes.  
  
“Works for me,” he replied, and truly it did, because he hadn’t felt this relaxed in ages. His mind would catch up eventually to the enormity of the fact that he’d just had sex with Clarke, but for now he was enjoying the physical benefits.  
  
“You don’t feel weird or anything, do you?” she asked, turning to look at him.  
  
“I thought we agreed that this wasn’t going to be awkward,” he said.  
  
“We did, I just want to make sure.”  
  
“We’ve been through everything else together, Clarke. Sex is one of the less weird things we’ve dealt with.”  
  
She smiled again, and he decided to ignore the way his heart leaped just a little bit because this was all just a new facet of their working relationship. No expectations beyond that.  
  
“Thanks,” she said, and then she sat up and started to pick up her discarded clothes.  
  
“Any time,” he replied.  
  
“How about the same time tomorrow?” she asked.  
  
“You know where to find me.”  
  
And that was how it all began.  
  
 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's more! I think this will end up being four chapters total, but don't hold me to that. Thanks for being patient as I learn how to write fic again.

As expected, the enormity of things hit Bellamy the next morning when Clarke walked into breakfast. On the one hand she was just Clarke, the same person he spent an inordinate amount of time with even when they weren’t working on something together. On the other hand, well, a line had definitely been crossed, and that meant things felt different. An agreed-upon line, sure, but it was still a line.

 _Don’t be awkward, don’t be awkward,_ he thought to himself as she walked over with her tray of food.

“Hey,” she said. “Sleep okay?”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah. You?”

She nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, I did.”

And with that she launched right into her standard morning review of what they had planned for the day, and it was like any other breakfast. He just needed to chill out a bit and it would all go on like normal.

She showed up again that night after he’d been reading for an hour, and he did an admirable job of pretending he hadn’t been staring at the clock wondering when she would come. Their first time the previous night had happened so quickly that it was almost a blessing, because there wasn’t much time to overthink things. But he wasn’t sure how it would all go for the second round.

“What are you reading?” she asked as she tugged at the hem of her shirt.

“A mystery novel I’ve already read twice,” he replied. “I’m trying to save the books I haven’t read so I have at least some new reading material over the next however many decades we’re stuck in here.” He’d done his best to stock the library before they sealed themselves inside, but books weren’t exactly the highest priority in those last weeks outside.

Clarke stripped down to her bra and underwear and stretched her arms over her head before unwinding the braid she’d put her hair in that day. 

“Right down to business?” he asked, following her lead and pulling off his own shirt.

“Unless you need pillow talk first,” she joked as she climbed onto the bed beside him. He and Clarke had always had some borderline flirtatiousness, but something about her tone was new, and he liked it.

“I think I’ll be okay,” he said, and then found himself pausing because again, had it been a normal situation, he would have pulled her in and kissed her. But instead he wasn’t sure where to start.

“What are you looking at?” she asked.

He was looking at her mouth and wondering what it would be like if he _did_ kiss her, which wasn’t a completely new thought for him, but this was certainly the closest he’d come to being able to act on it. He’d always been attracted to Clarke, always harboured curiosity about what it would be like if things were _more_ between them. But never had he anticipated this particular scenario, as intimate as possible and yet somehow still distant. 

“Your bra,” he answered without thinking.

“It’s so old,” she lamented. “If only I’d thought to stockpile bras like you stockpiled books.”

“That’s why you put people with sewing skills on the list,” he said, reaching out to touch the frayed edge of a strap.

She watched his finger run along the worn fabric until he paused where the strap met the top of the cup.

“You can keep going,” she said quietly.

His fingers moved along the edge of the bra where it held across her skin and dipped down, and then he let his hand splay and span the soft weight. The prospect of learning Clarke’s body in this new way suddenly thrilled him, and before he knew it he was pushing her onto her back and hovering over her.

“Can I…” he started to ask, but wasn’t sure how to finish the question.

Clarke nodded anyway, not needing specifics as she arched her back and reached to undo the clasp. A few deft movements later and her bra was landing on the floor next to the rest of her clothes, and she was bare beneath him.

He took in the sight for a moment before she slid her fingers into his hair and pulled his head down until he had no choice but to follow his instincts and see what she tasted like. Which was good. Really good. He went slowly at first, tentatively exploring, satisfied when he heard her breath picking up along with his own 

“That feels nice,” she said, arching again to give him better access. Eventually she reached down and tugged on his waistband and he knew what she was asking for, so he leaned up to remove his pants while she shucked her underwear.

“This okay?” he asked as he settled himself between her thighs.

“Yes,” she breathed, her hand moving to guide him, and with a tilt of hips they were joined.

This time they found the rhythm sooner, even though it was a new position, and he found it easier to make eye contact with her. They took it a little more slowly this go around, and when they reached their release together Bellamy let himself revel in the feeling of it. It was a relief to know that they were compatible in this way.

“You should tell me what you like,” Clarke said afterward as she pulled the blanket over both of them.

“Yeah?” he asked, his heartbeat coming back down to normal.

“And I’ll tell you what I like. We might as well get the most out of this if we have to do it.”

“You kind of make it sound like a chore,” he said, half-jesting.

“That’s not what I meant,” she replied.

“It’s okay, the circumstances aren’t exactly spontaneous.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy ourselves along the way,” she said.

“Oh, I’m enjoying myself,” he said, stretching out like a cat. “And I’d venture to say you are too.”

A smile snuck across her face, and he felt the flirtatious energy shimmer between them again. “What gave you that idea?” she asked.

“The orgasm was a pretty good indication,” he said. “Unless you were faking it.”

“Hah!” she laughed. “Like I could get that lie past you. I’m serious, Bellamy. Communicating about what we want in bed can only help.”

He nodded thoughtfully, because he wasn’t going to fight this argument. He was only benefitting from this arrangement, after all. And as hard as it was sometimes, more communication was better than less when it came to things between them.

He continued to consider her words throughout the next day, and when she came to his room that night, he was ready. He stood up and walked toward her as she closed the door, and when she turned to face him he backed her up against the metal, caging her in with his arms.

“Well hello,” she said, looking up at him.

“Hi,” he said back.

“You look like someone who knows what they want,” she said, her voice growing husky.

“Sometimes I like to be in charge,” he said, reaching beneath the hem of her shirt to caress the skin of her waist and pull her against him.

“Really,” she remarked, a slight smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, and he knew from the flash of lust in her eyes that this was the right move.

He gripped her shirt and pulled it over her head, tossing it over his shoulder as he leaned down to put his mouth on the skin of her collarbone. He took his time undressing her, his hands roving until she was naked. When he let his hands stray south he found her ready for him, and he felt empowered by her response to him.

He paused to take off his own shirt and shove his pants down before his arms circled and lifted her up until her legs locked naturally around his waist, her back against the door. Her arms came to rest on his shoulders and she looked so beautiful, her hair wild around her face, that he couldn’t hold his next word back.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, his voice hoarse.

“Yes,” she whispered, and relief joined his lust as he leaned in to capture her mouth.

 _Finally,_ he thought as tasted her, tenderly at first and then with more urgency as she met him in the kiss. Their tongues tangled and it just felt right, and he lifted her up again until they aligned and she sank down onto him, and it went from right to perfect.

He was careful to keep her supported against the door as they moved together, his lips roaming from her mouth to kiss her neck until she moaned. They stoked each other higher and higher until he felt her come undone around him, and he kept the pace going as she gasped his name, immensely satisfying and triggering his own release.

He rested his forehead against hers for a moment as they slowed down and then he braced his hand on her back to carry her over to the bed, where he laid her down and let himself fall down beside her.

“So that’s what you like,” she said after a few moments.

“Among other things,” he replied.

“Good, because that was hot.”

After that, their assignations became a lot more interesting. Not that they’d been exactly boring, but the first few times had been on the more perfunctory side. Now that they were learning to be comfortable expressing what they wanted out of sex, there was an openness and creativity there that they were both eager to explore.

Clarke continued coming to his room every night until ten days later when they found themselves stuck in their office well after midnight, pouring over two sets of food provision plans that required a decision at a council meeting the next morning. A few of the other council members had worked with them for a while until they decided to call it a night, and once they were gone the two of them could only keep their work momentum going so much longer.

“I feel like this stuff never ends,” Clarke sighed, leaning back in the desk chair.

“We’ve logged a lot of late nights in this office,” Bellamy replied.

“We practically lived in here for a while before we sealed the Ark,” she reminisced. “It’s served us well, but I’ll be happy if I never spend another night on that couch.”

He chuckled. “It’s not that bad,” he said.

“You always got way more sleep on that thing than me,” she replied.

“If this plan works, neither of us is going to be getting much sleep once there’s a baby in the picture.”

Clarke was quiet for a moment before she turned to look at him. “You think we should share quarters if there’s a baby?"

“Of course,” he replied. “How else would we do it?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’m just not sure how all those details work in this kind of situation.”

“I was under the impression that we were doing this together,” he said. “If I’m going to be a father, Clarke, I want to be there in every way possible.”

She pressed her lips together and he realized she was blinking back tears. _Shit_ , he thought, worried that he’d upset her.

“You’d want to live with me? With us?” she asked.

“Yes,” he replied. “Does that… is that okay with you?”

“Yes,” she said. “Yes. I’m sorry, I’m exhausted. It’s just, sometimes this all gets so overwhelming, you know? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do if we actually end up with a baby out of all of this. Of course I want you involved as much as possible. I just hadn’t gotten around to thinking through living arrangements yet.”

“We don’t have to have it all figured out yet. But trust me, it’ll be way easier if we’re all in the same place, so we can share the work.”

“Thank you,” she said.

“For what?”

“For being willing to do this with me. I know it’s probably not how you envisioned becoming a parent—it’s not how any of us did—but it means a lot that you’d take on such a huge responsibility so I don’t have to do it alone.”

The truth was, he couldn’t envision doing this—in any circumstances, reproduction protocol or otherwise—with anyone other than Clarke. But the rawness of that realization was a bit much to process at the moment, so he filed it away for later.

“We’re good at doing things together,” he said. “This is just our biggest project yet.”

Clarke got up and walked over to join him on the couch, sitting sideways to face him.

“We _are_ good at doing things together,” she said, and then she smiled and moved to straddle his lap, her fingers toying with the collar of his shirt. “This couch isn’t great for sleeping, but it might not be so bad for other activities.”

He rested his hands on her hips as he caught her drift. “Only one way to find out.”

The next morning at breakfast, Clarke looked more tired than usual, and she wasn’t as talkative.

“Are you feeling okay?” he asked, unable to stop himself from worrying about her. “You look a little off.”

“I’m fine,” she replied, then looked around to see how much privacy they had. “I got my period this morning, though.”

“Oh,” he said, unsure how to respond. Because he knew what that meant: it hadn’t worked. 

“It’s okay,” she said. “It doesn’t mean it won’t happen. This was our first attempt, and my cycle is probably still getting back to normal after going off birth control. I’ll get a better idea of when I ovulate as things move forward. We’ll just have to keep trying.”

“Okay. Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked.

“Other than being tired and sore like I always am when I get my period? I’m good. Thanks for asking, though.”

“If there’s anything I can do, let me know,” he said.

“Got any other mystery novels? I feel like lying around and doing nothing as soon as I get off work today.”

“I’ll see what I can dig up.”

Which was how they ended up spending their first evening in weeks not having sex, but rather reading together in his bed, which suited him just fine.


	3. Chapter 3

After their initial attempt didn’t work, Bellamy wasn’t sure exactly how things would go. But after taking a few days off, Clarke was ready to get back into the swing of things, and their nightly routine continued.

Sometimes Bellamy would pause and think about how weird it was, this platonic attempt at having a kid, but then he remembered that other people in the Ark were doing the same thing. Married and committed people were trying, but there were also a few other pairs like Clarke and Bellamy who had decided to give it a go together. Others were working with Abby and Jackson on fertility treatments. Baby fever was in the air, which made an otherwise weird situation a little less strange, and Bellamy was thankful for that.

Because it was so normalized, everyone seemed to know what was happening with everyone else, Bellamy and Clarke included. They weren’t exactly keeping it a secret, and it only took one person to notice that they were spending even more time together than usual before the news was out. After that, commentary on the situation was fair game.

The first one to say anything to Bellamy was, unsurprisingly, his sister Octavia, who smirked at him when she brought it up over dinner one night.

“What,” he said, exasperated before the conversation truly began.

“It’s just interesting,” she said. “I was wondering what would happen in Clarke’s case. 

“Her case?” he asked.

“Unattached but still subject to the rules of the protocol. I knew she would figure something out but I wasn’t sure if she would pretend to consider other people first or just save us all time and pick you.”

“We picked each other,” he said defensively.

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Of course you did. Well, that’s good, because I pity the fool who tries to get between you and Clarke.”

Now it was Bellamy’s turn to roll his eyes.

“So are you two together now or what?” she continued.

“It’s not like that,” he replied. “You see how it is with everyone right now. It’s a practical arrangement. She has to do it, so we’re doing it together. Nothing more than that.”

Octavia shook her head and sighed. “Why not?”

“Why not what?”

“Why not _more_ than that? You clearly have feelings for her, Bellamy, and you’re an idiot if you think otherwise.”

Octavia had been giving him grief about Clarke along these lines for so long that Bellamy didn’t overreact, but instead launched into his standard response.

“Of course I care about her, but it’s not like _that._ We work well together, we’re close friends. And besides, neither of us has time for romance in our lives anyway, what with keeping this place running.”

Octavia bit out a laugh. “Time! Are you kidding me? We have nothing _but_ time since we got welded into this place. You two just bury yourselves in busywork because you don’t know how to function otherwise. If either of you wanted to be with anyone else, you would have figured it out by now. But instead you pretend you have this stupid partnership thing when you should really just cut the shit and get married.”

“Mind your own business, O,” Bellamy said, his patience reaching its limit.

“Yeah right. I need something to entertain me. I mean come on, what’s your plan for after the baby is here? Platonically raise a child together while dating other people from an extremely limited population? Just admit you love each other and get on with it! We may be sealed inside this thing, but life goes on. I found someone, and I’m making a life in here with James. A real, meaningful life. You and Clarke owe it to yourselves to do the same.”

This was an intense as Octavia had ever gotten about Bellamy’s love life, and he wasn’t exactly sure how to respond. He was saved when Octavia’s partner, James, walked over to the table with his tray.

“What are you two fighting about now?” he asked jovially, knowing both Blakes well.

“Bellamy’s just being his dumbass self,” Octavia replied, flashing her brother another smirk.

Bellamy tried to let Octavia’s words fade, but he couldn’t quite shake them from the back of his mind. The problem with him and Clarke was that they were so close, so in sync with each other, that they had somehow careened past the point where they might have had a conversation about the state of affairs between them. They were what they were, whatever that was, and deep down he was scared of questioning it.

He tried to rationalize things in his head for the rest of the day but without much success, getting more and more frustrated with himself until he walked into his room after the evening guard shift and found Clarke sitting on his bed, sketching tiny cartoons inside the cover of one of his books.

“Hi,” she said.

They were so intertwined with each other, he thought as he watched the ease with which she made herself at home in his space. They already had been before this whole baby thing started and now, if they really did have a kid together, they would be bound in ways he couldn’t even contemplate at this point.

“Rough day?” she asked.

“Same as any other,” he grumbled as he shrugged out of his jacket.

When he got into bed beside Clarke, she closed the book and put it on the table before turning to him with a frown.

“You look stressed,” she said.

He knew he had a choice here. He could bring up what was on his mind, or he could deflect, and as he watched the worried crease of her brow deepen, he made his choice.

“It’s been crazy getting things ready for the Unity Day celebration,” he said, grasping at the first excuse he could think of. Deflection it was.

“Party planning isn’t for the faint of heart,” she commented.

“We’re drawing soon to see who gets stuck on duty and who gets to enjoy the alcohol rations with the rest of the population.”

“You never get to drink on Unity Day,” she said.

“Maybe I won’t draw a short straw this year.”

“Maybe,” she said, and then climbed into his lap. He let his brain shut off after that.

As it turned out, he did draw one of the short straws for Unity Day guard duty. He didn’t mind that much, as long as nobody got in any fights. Being stuck inside close quarters with a limited amount of people led to some tensions that were more likely to boil over when people had had a few drinks, as they’d discovered in years past. But he was hopeful everyone would behave this time around.

The Unity Day celebration took place in the common area where everybody ate, and was mainly an excuse to bring out some of the fancier food they had rationed, as well as some of the liquor that they only served on holidays. Bellamy’s job was to patrol one of the exits and make sure nothing too crazy happened.

The evening was mostly uneventful, and he spent the time chatting with people who came by his post. He always found Unity Day a bit grim now that they were separated from so many of their people by the unliveable conditions outside, but it was nice to see everyone inside the Ark relax and let loose a little bit. They certainly needed it.

Clarke was wearing a dress for the party, one she’d salvaged from somewhere before they got stuck inside. He’d seen her wear it before, but now that he was intimately familiar with what was underneath the dress, he found the close fit of the fabric to be a bit more distracting.

She’d told him she wasn’t planning on drinking much, but it didn’t take much to get Clarke tipsy, and by the time they cleared the floor for dancing he knew from the sparkle in her eyes that she was having a good time. After a few songs had played, she left the dance floor to find him, and she looked so pretty that his heart throbbed in his chest.

“I can’t believe you drew the short straw again,” she said as she walked up.

“I’ll survive,” he replied. “Having fun?”

“Yes,” she said. “I could have more, though. Do you get any breaks tonight?”

“I can take fifteen if I need,” he answered. “Why?”

She smiled at him then with a look that could only be described as seductive, and he had a feeling he knew where this was going.

“I think we need to check on something in our office,” she said.

“Oh do we?” he asked, picking up on her tone. Clarke’s playful side had emerged as part of this arrangement they had going on, and if she was in the mood, he wasn’t going to turn her down.

“It’s really important,” she said, and started backing into the hallway, beckoning for him to follow her. 

He leaned into his radio to let the other guards know he was going on a break, his eyes not leaving hers until she turned and made her way down the hall to the office. He followed, letting himself get drawn in by the sway of her hips and the smooth lines of her bare legs 

Clarke opened the office door and then turned to take his hand and pull him inside with her. After shutting the door behind them he turned to find her in the dim light, reaching out and pulling her into his arms. It was a natural move for him now, as was running his hands over her body and pulling her against him.

Instead of immediately tugging at their clothes, however, he leaned down to capture her mouth first. Typically when they kissed, it happened in the heat of the moment, but this was a bit slower and steadier. Something about the mood of the evening called for it, and he took the time to savour the taste of her before pulling back and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“You look really pretty in that dress,” he said, letting his fingers run along her cheek.

“Bellamy,” she laughed softly. “You don’t have to win me over with smooth talk.”

“I’m not trying to win you over,” he insisted. “I mean it.”

She blinked, taken aback, but in a good way, he thought. His heart was pounding.

“Well, aren’t you sweet,” she said, running her hands over his chest. “You know, you look pretty hot in your guard’s uniform.”

Now it was his turn to laugh. “You’re full of it.”

“I mean it,” she said, echoing his words back as she loosened his vest. “This thing kind of gets in the way, though.”

He helped her get it off and then set it aside, along with his gun. Clarke’s hands stayed busy tugging his shirt from his pants until she got her hands on his skin. He kissed her again, backing her up until they ran into the desk, and for a moment he let himself simply get lost in her. If they were more, he thought, it could be like this all the time. He just had to let himself want it for real.

She didn’t seem to mind, winding her fingers into his hair, and when they broke apart for air she gazed at him for a moment with a look in her eyes he didn’t recognize. They were treading into dangerous territory, and he suspected they both knew it. But they had other things to deal with first. 

He lifted her up so she was on the edge of the desk and then slid the fabric of her dress up her thighs, allowing her to wind her legs around him. She reached for his belt and made quick work of undoing his pants before leaning back so he could slide her underwear off. As soon as she was free she drew him in for a kiss as he sank into her.

They couldn’t take too much time, given that he only had fifteen minutes and there was a party going on outside, but they made it work. Clarke smiled at him as she caught her breath and cleaned herself up, and his heart ached. He knew they needed to go somewhere from here, but he wasn’t sure how that was going to happen, or where exactly that place would be 

“Happy Unity Day,” she said once she was dressed again, and before he could come up with a good response they were heading back out to the party.

A few days after the Unity Day, Bellamy couldn’t find Clarke at dinner, which they typically ate together when their schedules aligned. He grabbed some food to go after finishing his meal and went off in search of her, knowing that sometimes she got caught up in her work and forgot to eat.

When he found their office empty, he continued on to the medical ward, where she sometimes covered a shift when her mother or Jackson needed extra help. Things were fairly quiet, but he encountered Abby towards the front as she finished up with a patient.

“Bellamy,” she said, looking surprised. He was puzzled by this, because it wasn’t like it was out of the ordinary for him to come looking for her daughter.

“Is Clarke around?” he asked.

Abby hesitated for a second before saying “She’s in the supply room,” and gesturing for him to go back.

He shrugged off Abby’s weirdness and headed for the room, where he found Clarke standing with a bottle of pills in her hand.

“Hey,” he said. “I grabbed some food for you before the dining hall shut down for the night.”

“Thanks,” she said, looking up at him slightly dazed. “I, uh, got sidetracked.”

“I didn’t know you were working here tonight.”

“I’m not,” she said, and then looked down at the bottle in her hand before looking back up at him. “I actually came here to take a pregnancy test. My period was late.”

His whole body tensed. “And?”

“It was positive.”

He tried to find some words, but he could barely move air through his lungs, so he simply stared at her.

“These are prenatal vitamins,” she said quickly, holding up the bottle, and he could tell she wasn’t exactly sure how to have this conversation either.

“Clarke,” he said, his voice low as he finally found it. “That’s… that’s good. Right?”

“Yeah. It is,” she said. But she seemed uneasy. “I’m still in shock, to be honest.”

He decided against the urge to reach for her, instead going with practical conversation. “Does your mom know?”

“Yes.”

That explained the look on Abby’s face when she’d seen him. He assumed Abby knew he and Clarke were working on this, but he and Abby had always had a tense relationship, and this was a new level of complication.

“So what now?” he asked. He was quickly realizing he hadn’t really thought through what happened after Clarke got pregnant.

“Well, it’s still really early. I barely feel any symptoms yet, I just know because of the missed period and the blood test. So for now we just wait and see if everything goes well. There’s still a chance it might not be viable, or I might miscarry.”

That already scared the hell out of him. “You should take it easy, then.”

She shrugged. “I mean, I won’t do anything too crazy, but I can still go about my daily life.”

They fell silent for a moment.

“I can’t believe it actually worked,” he said eventually. 

“I know,” she replied, and her mouth twitched into little smile. “We certainly put in the effort.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s part’s done with,” he said, and then immediately regretted his words when her expression shuttered.

“I guess so,” she said, focusing instead on the bottle of vitamins.

He cleared his throat, hating the awkwardness that was suddenly growing between them. “I don’t really know what I’m supposed to say or feel right now,” he said.

“I don’t either,” she replied. “Everything is going according to plan, I guess, but like I said, it’s early. We’ll see what happens if all goes well and the pregnancy progresses.”

There was a slightly clinical tone in her voice now, and he knew the conversation was shutting down, but he wasn’t sure how to fix it. When Clarke shut him out, she shut him out, and it was the first time in a while that she had done so.

“Since I’m already here I might as well get some work done anyway,” she said.

“Do you want the food?” he asked.

“Sure,” she said, taking it from him. “Thanks.”

“I guess you’re eating for two now,” he said, and immediately felt like an idiot. Nothing was coming out right.

She sighed. “I don’t feel like it yet, but I do feel tired.”

“Well, you should get some good rest, then,” he replied. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” Because it wasn’t like they needed to keep having their nightly assignations now that their efforts had worked.

“Yeah,” she said. “See you tomorrow. Thanks for the food, Bellamy. And for, um, everything.”

And with that, he walked back out through the medical ward, the future uncertain.


	4. Chapter 4

In the time it took Bellamy to walk back to his room, the reality of Clarke’s news sank in to the point where all he could do once he got there was lie down and stare at the ceiling in shock. He didn’t know why he was so surprised. This was exactly the outcome they’d wanted, and this was how nature worked. But as he stared at the metal of the Ark, he realized he had never fully understood the weight of what they were trying to do.

He was an idiot. And to be fair, Clarke was too. It was laughable, really, the extent to which they had avoided dealing with their feelings. She had just told him that she was pregnant with _his_ child—which, to be honest, was the kind of scenario he didn’t even let himself dream about, what with their futures always being so precarious—and his response had been to make awkward small talk. She had told him groundbreaking news that was good for once, instead of “Oh, by the way, we’re about to die again,” and he’d gone ahead and bungled it immediately.

He hated when they miscommunicated. It had never been as bad as the time she left him at Arkadia and they both veered down dark paths, but he never forgot what it had felt like to be at odds with her, and he had a very real fear of losing her again. Which was ridiculous, because it wasn’t like she could go anywhere now, at least not physically. But he was closer to her than he’d ever been to anyone, and when things weren’t right between them, everything in his world felt off.

He slept terribly as he turned it over in his mind again and again, and when he found himself wide awake an hour before his alarm was set to go off, he decided it was stupid to wait any longer to try and fix it. He didn’t know what he was going to say, but he was going to give it a shot anyway.

He pulled on his clothes and made his way to Clarke’s quarters, tapping out the special knock on her door that they’d agreed upon long ago as a means of notifying the other of who it was.

“Bellamy?” she whispered as she opened the door. “What’s wrong?”

He wondered if either of them would ever get over their gut reaction to expect something to be wrong all the time.

“Nothing,” he said, his heart lurching as he noticed the redness of her eyes when she drew him into the room.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I needed to talk to you,” he said. “Sorry if I woke you up.”

“I wasn’t really sleeping,” she said.

“Me neither,” he replied, and then decided to start with the refrain that had been running through his head all night. “Look, I’m an idiot.”

She let out a small laugh. “Okay. And you came here to tell me that at five thirty in the morning?”

“After you told me last night… I don’t like how we left it.”

Clarke let out a sigh. “Me either.”

“I thought I would be better prepared for this but, I’m not.”

“I know what you mean,” she said.

“What are we doing here, Clarke?” he asked.

“Having a child together, apparently,” she answered.

“I know that,” he said. “But are we crazy?”

“Probably. But we don’t have a choice. And it’s a little late for regrets, Bellamy,” she said.

“I don’t have—“ he started to say, and then before he could finish his sentence there was another knock on the door.

“What is going on today?” Clarke asked, exasperated, and opened the door to find Jackson on the other side.

“What happened?” she asked, and Bellamy had to laugh because again, the automatic assumption of the worst.

“We have to do an emergency appendectomy this morning and we need your help in surgery,” Jackson said. “Abby sent me to get you. Hey, Bellamy.”

Bellamy nodded at Jackson in acknowledgement.

Clarke looked apologetically at Bellamy and said, “I have to go. We can talk later.”

He got out of her way, because she and Jackson were in medical emergency mode, and he was just going to have to take his confused heart elsewhere. It was the story of their entire relationship, really—putting anything having to do with themselves on the back burner because something else demanded their immediate attention, always.

As he watched her pull a sweater over her head and walk out the door with Jackson, it hit him right in the chest, suddenly, that this was what love felt like. The real, messy kind of love that grew between rocks and hard places. There was no clean, storybook tale here, but it was all the stronger for it. And after years of doing everything out of necessity and avoiding what he needed, he was finally ready to hope for more.

It was just his luck that they would be interrupted right as he was working up the nerve to figure this all out and talk about it with Clarke, because now more than ever they needed to talk about where things really stood between them. They’d waited this long, however, and he figured he could continue to be patient until they were both free again that evening.

But patience was wishful thinking, and he spent the rest of the day trying to distract himself so he wouldn’t dwell on the many ways in which he might tank the impending conversation. He managed to get lost in some work eventually, volunteering after his guard shift to help with a maintenance project that required some manual labour. His job was to move some heavy panels that required fixing from one part of the Ark to the engineering workshop, and he was happy to have some physical activity to take his mind off things.

After they finished for the day, however, he was walking behind a group of engineers on the way to the dining hall when a fragment of conversation between two of them, a man and a woman, caught his attention.

“…not the only ones doing it. Everyone is subject to the protocol, even Clarke and Bellamy,” the woman said.

“I heard about that,” the man replied.

“They aren’t together, though,” she continued. “So it’s not like people are letting this rule their lives, it’s just about procreation.”

“They’re not together?” the man asked. “I mean, I’ve always heard that, but I wasn’t sure if it was just a rumour or not.”

“Apparently not. They’re just fulfilling the requirements.”

“Huh,” the man said.

“You should date her after she has the kid,” the woman suggested.

The man laughed. “Why don’t you date her?”

“I would have before Maggie and I got together. Seriously, she’s a catch.”

Bellamy had endured years of hearing other people talking about Clarke—how hot she was, how scary she was—and he’d also endured years of hearing people speculate about the two of them. He typically either made a mean enough face to shut people up or let it fade into the back of his mind because they didn’t have time to worry about idle gossip.

But things were different now. They’d been changing for a while, and it was time they both started acting like it. Everyone around them would just have to get used to it.

Bellamy cleared his throat and the two engineers, who hadn’t realized he was right behind them, turned and looked at him in surprise and guilt at being caught.

“Excuse me,” he grumbled, edging past them to cross into the dining hall where he scanned the room until he spotted Clarke setting her tray down on a table.

He walked through the sea of people until he got to her and then he slowed as she looked up at him.

“Hi,” she said, a smudge of tired beneath her eyes but still beautiful.

He’d used up all his patience. He didn’t have it all figured out in his head, but he couldn’t put it off any longer, because this was getting ridiculous, and if he didn’t do something now, some other distraction would come along and interrupt them. So instead of saying anything, he cupper her face in his hands and kissed her. She was surprised at first, but then she softened and met him in the kiss, and everything around them seemed to fade away.

“I don’t have regrets,” he said after he pulled back.

“What?” she asked, dazed.

“Earlier, you said it was too late for regrets, and I don’t have them. I need you to know that.”

Her eyes searched his, and he felt like he could drown in the blue of them as he dug for his next words.

“I want this,” he continued. “One hundred percent. But it was all just an abstract concept until you told me you were pregnant. And now it’s—“

“Real?” she finished for him. “You’re not the only one freaking out here.”

“So we’re both freaking out. We might as well freak out together. And I mean _all the way_ together, Clarke. I’m tired of pretending we’re not more than friends. Because we are. You know it. I know it.”

“What are you saying?” she asked.

“I’m saying that, baby or not, I want everything with you. Please, tell me I’m not making a total ass out of myself by doing this in a public place.”

“You’re not,” she said. “Although it is pretty pubic of you.” And then she pulled him in for a kiss, and he knew things were going to turn out okay.

“I may have been provoked,” he said sheepishly against her mouth. “Some people were talking.”

“Were you eavesdropping? And why are you all sweaty?” she asked, reaching out to touch the sleeve of his t-shirt.

“I did some heavy lifting to take my mind off how I keep messing up this conversation,” he said.

“You’re doing just fine now,” she reassured him, and then leaned up for another kiss. “I want everything with you, too. Although we do pretty much everything together already.”

“Except tell each other how we really feel,” he said, half teasing but also serious because, come on.

Her eyes widened. “Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe.”

“Tell me how you really feel, then.”

“I’m in love with you,” he said, and once the words were out, it felt like they’d always been there.

Her face broke into a wide smile. “You are?”

“Yeah. I have been for a while, now that I’m finally letting myself think about it. This whole kid thing kind of put it all in perspective, though.”

“I’m in love with you too,” Clarke said.

“Really?” he asked.

“I thought it was pretty obvious,” she said.

“Ha!” he laughed. “It wasn’t. Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Why didn’t _you_?” she replied.

“We’re both idiots, I already decided,” he said.

She laughed and rolled her eyes. “Fair enough.” She looked around then, and the people who had been openly staring at them had the decency to look away. This would give the gossips plenty of entertainment. She didn't seem to mind, however, and her mouth curved into a smile as she looked back at Bellamy. “You’re all sweaty in that t-shirt, and this conversation might be better finished in private. Why don’t we get our food to go so you can change and we can argue about who’s the bigger idiot back in your quarters?”

“Clarke Griffin,” he said, his voice low and his smile dangerous. “Are you trying to get me naked?”

“Maybe,” she said with a glimmer in her eye.

“Then let’s get out of here. I have a question, though. Why do we always end up at my place?”

“You’re bed’s bigger,” she replied, and picked her tray up before heading towards the door.

Yeah, they were going to be just fine.

**

_Approximately 9 months later…_

The day their son was born, Bellamy thought he knew how it would go. He’d had enough time to envision every possible scenario, he figured, because the kid was nine days late, and whatever happened had to be close to at least one of them. But in spite of the prenatal education materials and the doctor’s visits with Abby telling them what to expect, he didn’t fully appreciate how _long_ childbirth could actually take until they were twelve hours into early labour and it didn’t seem like they’d be doing anything else any time soon.

Clarke was patient at first, toughing it out like she did everything, but after a while she was clearly frustrated and growing tired. He did his best to distract her, and she tolerated his bad synopsis of _The Canterbury Tales_ until she started swearing at him, at which point he figured something different had to be happening, because if she was swearing like that, she was in real pain. So he was relieved, and excited that things were moving along, until he realized how much more pain the next stage entailed

Eventually Abby moved them to the delivery room in the medical ward and Bellamy learned what full-on labour was like—people who gave birth were actually superhuman, he realized, watching it all happen. Time managed to move fast and slow all at once, and he alternated between giving Clarke some part of his body to grip while she went through a contraction and generally fussing until Abby told Jackson to fetch some equipment and then asked Bellamy if he was ready to meet his child.

Bellamy nodded and the next thing he knew Clarke was crying out louder than he’d ever heard her before and moments later he was holding a tiny baby in his arms. The little thing started screaming, but Bellamy couldn’t keep the grin off his face as he stared at him in wonder. Here he was, howling and messy and ready to take on the world. At Abby’s direction Bellamy carried the baby up to Clarke and settled him onto her chest, at which point the screaming subsided.

“He’s here,” Clarke said, tears still drying on her cheeks as she stroked her finger along the baby’s ear. “Buddy, I was starting to think you were never going to show up.”

“I can’t believe he’s real,” Bellamy said, leaning down to kiss Clarke before staring again at their child. “Your mom’s a hero, kid. I’ve seen her do a lot of things but that was by far the most hardcore.”

Clarke let out a laugh. “You have no idea.” It was good to see a smile on her face again, and the relief of having their baby here was like a weight off both of their shoulders. Clarke’s pregnancy hadn’t been complicated, but it hadn’t been easy, either. And as always, they tended to prepare for the worst. So this moment of all-consuming joy, when they could celebrate something good—something miraculous, really—was incredibly special.

After the cord had been cut, the official measurements taken, and the baby swaddled after his first feed, Abby and Jackson left to give them some privacy as a new family.

Bellamy held the baby and marvelled at the curl of dark hair against his little head, the curve of his tiny nose. “He’s the best,” he said.

“I know,” Clarke replied, reaching over to put her hand on Bellamy’s. “Little Jake Blake. I can’t believe we actually made a child.”

“Welcome to the world, Jake,” Bellamy said to his son. “Your mom and I are going to do our best to try and make it one where you’re not stuck inside this tin can forever.”

“Back to problem solving already?” Clarke asked.

“We named our child after a problem-solver. Might as well show him how to honour his namesake right from day one.”

“I used to think having a kid would make everything more scary and uncertain,” Clarke said. “And in some ways it does, I guess. But Bellamy, I’ve never felt as much hope as I do right now. This is the future, right here.”

Bellamy kissed Jake and handed him over to Clarke before kissing her too. “The future is bright. We’ll make it bright for him.”

_The End_


End file.
